Once In A Lifetime

Ed literary panics once he gets inside his house again, he is truly terrified of what is to come. The card he found in the mail is The Joker and Ed feels like it mocks him since the last message is for himself. Ed doesn´t sleep that night, he just waits for the morning sun to arrive. On February 7th Audrey knocks on the door asking why Ed has been so quiet the past couple of days, but he just says he is waiting for something to come. That same day, a bald man with a moustache comes to Ed´s apartment and tells him to go to the cemetery. There, two men that work for whoever is sending the cards to Ed, tell him that he shouldn’t die the same way his father died; a quarter of what he could have been. A few days pass when Ed picks up a man with a cap that tells him to drive to 26 Shipping Street (that is Ed´s address and if I'm going to be honest, when I read this I opened my eyes so much I was afraid that I would never close them again). When they get to said address, Ed recognizes the man in the backseat as the gunman who tried to rob the bank in the beginning of the story; he had already completed his sentence in jail and was now a free man. Then they go to 45 Edgar Street (Ed's first address), then to Milla's house, then to Sophie's place (she ran barefoot in her track competitions).  They visit Angie and her kids, the Rose brothers and Father O´Reilly at his church. They go to the Tatapu residence, then to the Italian restaurant and to his mother's house, then to the old cinema where Ed saw a movie with Audrey. Afterwards, they go to Ritchie’s place, and to Marv´s, and then to Audrey´s.  When Ed goes back to his apartment, he realizes that the gunman (whose name is never mentioned) went to jail for the sake and happiness of the people Ed helped.  Inside his apartment, there is a man with short brown hair who tells Ed that he came to town a year ago and saw Ed, his mom, his dog, and his dad being buried. This man killed Ed´s father, organized the bank robbery, instructed the man from Edgar Street to beat up his wife, and made Ed a “less-than-competent taxi driver”. The man gives Ed a folder with everything he wrote for Ed, with every person he ran into and every idea he had (even the conversation they were having at the moment was in the folder). The man leaves Ed alone with his thoughts. Ed doesn´t know the man´s name but thinks he´ll learn it soon enough, he is sure that the man wrote about all of this but wants to write the story himself anyways. He´ll start with something like “the gunman is useless” (and that is how the book starts), but you know, odds are that it won´t be Ed´s name that is in the cover of the book. That afternoon, Audrey comes over to Ed´s apartment to hang out but wants to stay permanently with Ed. They kiss but Ed still wants to check the folder to see if that was supposed to happen but Audrey stops him. She tells Ed that if they want to be together, it should belong to them and not to the folder. Ed then realizes, in a beautiful and cruel moment of reality, that he didn't have to deliver messages to other people; he is the message.

““And if a guy like you can stand up and do what you did for all those people, well, maybe everyone can.  Maybe everyone can live beyond what they're capable of.” He becomes intense now. Emotional. This is everything. “Maybe I can…”” (353)

In this quote, the man that turns out to be sending the cards to Ed (that I seriously think is the author himself), tells Ed that the reason he did all of this was for Ed to be greater than himself. I thought about this a lot and I ended up with the conclusion that the author wanted to inspire the readers to do something beyond ourselves. Like, you know, Ed was just a cab driver but was capable of helping all those people in the town and got nothing in return. You know, if Ed could do it, maybe I can too. Maybe I can do something beyond myself and get nothing in return. My mom always told me that I should at least make one good action every day and, although I try to, I don't always do it.  I hope that when I grow up, I will be able to say that I did something beyond what I'm capable of and got nothing in return.

“Of course you're real - like any thought or any story. It's real when you're in it.” (354)

This quote is more of an answer to Ed's question. Ed was so confused when the man showed up with the folder that he just asked if it all was real, which makes sense in a situation like that. I was also questioning my existence in this part of the story, but unlike Ed; I am real. Sadly, my dear Ed, you are just a character inside a novel and have no rights or decisions whatsoever; but I do (thankfully). I am my own person and I can decide what messages I'm going to deliver. Maybe I'll just try to help others just like Ed did, or maybe I'll just cause trouble so someone else is the hero. I am the only one who can decide what is good or bad and right or wrong for my life. Thankfully, I am not trapped inside the words in a book and I can put my own words in a story. It feels good to be real.

So, I've finished the book (just in time). I was honestly surprised with the ending and with who turned up to send the cards to Ed. I am not one bit disappointed though, I am amazed with the ending of the book. When I (finally) figured out that the person that was sending the cards was in fact the author, I wanted to scream on the top of my lungs so that my entire neighborhood knew that Marcus Zusak had just made me question my entire existence with the ending of “I am the Messenger”. My first thought after reading the book was: "What am I supposed to do with my life now that it's over?" But then I was like; "no, calm down everything is going to be okay, it's just a book." (This thoughts were going on inside of my head just if you were wondering.) But is it just a book? (This is my answer.) Yes, maybe, perhaps, no. Just  a book wouldn't have left me emotionally unstable, just a book would not make me feel as if my best friend moved away, and just a book would be easy to forget. So no, this is not just a book; it's a good book. A good book that taught me to share, it taught me that there are not many people who deserve the truth, it taught me that you can always be bigger than before (even if you think it's enough). It taught me that even though things might get hard, you don't have to let small details (or even big) bring you down. There was so many people and things that wanted to bring Ed down and make him give up, that when Ed successfully finished delivering the messages, I was proud to say that I admire a fictional and non-existent character in a book. So after over a month of writing this blog, I came to the conclusion that nothing lasts forever, everything has an ending and that we should enjoy what we have while we have it. (This book for example).

Surprises Are More Important Than Promises

When Ed reads the names in the ace of hearts, he is surprised to find out that they are titles of movies. In the first movie he finds out that the leading role was played by Audrey Hepburn and immediately thinks of Audrey. The second movie is played by Lee Marvin in one of his most famous roles and Ed thinks of Marv. In the last movie Ed finds out that the director of the movie shares the same last name as Ritchie. Ed has got his three addresses: Audrey, Marv and Ritchie (amazing isn't it).

First, Ed goes to visit Ritchie and notices that he doesn't do anything productive the entire day. He then encourages Ritchie to get a job so he stops living from his parents´ money. After helping Ritchie, Ed goes to Marv´s home and remembers that Marv has been saving money for a while now but is very mysterious about how he wants to spend it. When Ed asks him about it, Marv tells him that he had a daughter with his ex-girlfriend Suzanne Boyd and would like to give the money to the kid (when I found about this I almost dropped the book). They both go to Suzanne´s new home since she and her family moved out a few years ago. Marv is confronted by Suzanne´s father but nevertheless is allowed to meet his daughter. The last person Ed needs to help is Audrey but he doesn't know how to help her (although it's his job but who am I to judge). When he goes to her house, Ed watches her eating with her boyfriend but recalls that Audrey doesn't allow herself to love (and intends to change it). He watches Audrey for three nights and  in the fourth night, Ed knocks on Audrey's door with a radio in his hand. They dance in the hallway outside Audrey´s  apartment for three minutes to a song Ed won´t mention. When Ed comes back home, he is surprised to find another card in the mail but this time it only has one address. 26 Shipping Street it says, and that´s Ed´s address.

""There´s only one thing I want."

"What´s that Ritchie?"

His answer is simple.

"To want."" (304 - 305) 

This quote got me thinking about how different Ed and Ritchie really are. Ed wanted to do something for himself and become someone with achievements but Ritchie doesn't really care. This is probably why Ed tried to stop the bank robbery that day. When Ed goes to Ritchie´s house to help him, he notices the lack of ambition in his friend's life. Ritchie has no career, no occupation, and no achievements whatsoever. At least Ed is a cab driver with aspirations of becoming a hero. Anyway, they both lived with their parents (Ritchie still does), they live in the same small town and have the same friends. What makes them different, you may ask yourself? (And here is your answer).Decisions.

“Can three minutes last forever? I ask myself, but already I know the answer.

Probably not, I reply. But maybe they last long enough.” (336)

Sometimes I wish three minutes would last forever, sometimes I don´t.  You know how sometimes good things happen in our lives that make us happy, but sometimes bad things happen and it makes us upset. I (sadly) can't change the fact that sometimes life won´t be fair or won´t go in the way we want it to. It's fine you know, it's fine because if we knew that everything would go the way we want it to go, our lives would be pathetic. Not pathetic in the sense that we don't do anything, but pathetic in the way that we know we can't fail. I would like that some trips I made would last forever but they can't because if I was to stay in vacation my whole life, I would forget to live my life like a normal everyday student. Just like Ed said, maybe some circumstances  are not meant to last forever, but maybe just long enough for you to remember them.

Honestly, I thought that this would be the last card that arrives in the mail, but I was definitely wrong. I hate to admit it but, I didn't even think (not even a second) that Ed would get another card in the mail. I guess it adds up you know, things happen when you least expect them. I still think that Ed will be able to deliver whatever the message is (for himself). I know that he'll do anything (and when I say ´anything´ I MEAN ´anything´) necessary to deliver the last message. Also, I've been hoping that Ed will finally meet (or at least know who) the person that is sending the cards. I already got tired of guessing who is sending the cards to Ed, doubt is killing me. I am genuinely scared of what will happen next, who is behind Ed's mission?

Changing Is Progressing

The ace of spades doesn't arrive in the mail like the last two. Instead, Ed has to negotiate for it and his dog after the annual Sledge Game (a barefoot game of soccer that takes place every December). After winning the game,he finds out that his dog is missing but finds a kid who offers twenty bucks for it and the card. The names in the card turn out to be names of authors, so Ed goes to the library to find their books. Much to his surprise, Ed finds addresses within the pages of the books and in 114 Glory Road, Ed meets the Tatapu family who can't afford Christmas lights. Ed immediately gets them the lights and watches them light up their house afterwards. The second address is 23 Clown Street where he finds an old Italian restaurant and is shocked to see his mother walk in with a man on her arm. Ed doesn't stay long and instead heads out to his mother´s house and waits for her to come back.  When she does, Ed asks her why her hate for him is so strong and finds out that Ed reminded her too much of his (now dead) dad (harsh, I know). The third address Ed visits is 39 Bell Street where he finds an old cinema and its owner. He buys tickets to a movie  and brings Audrey with him to watch it but in the middle of the film, a man comes in and changes the reel. Then, the screen shows Ed being beaten up by the Rose brothers, carrying all the books from the library, watching the Christmas lights with the Tatapu family, asking his mom about her hate towards him, and last, the screen shows Ed walking into the cinema. He later finds the ace of hearts in his seat in the movie theater.   

“This isn't about words.

This is about glowing lights and small things that are big.” (221)

In this quote this quote, Ed explains how the Christmas lights in the Tatapu family residence are beautiful even though they are small. With this quote, I felt as if every small thing that I've done could be considered big for someone else. For example, if I was to donate clothes to people in need, it would be small for me but very big for them. Same goes with charity events, those who donate think it´s a small action but people who receive think it is big.

“That was when the world wasn't so big and I could see everywhere. It was when my father was a hero and not a human.” (240)

This quote made me acknowledge how much I love my dad. It made me acknowledge how much it would hurt me if he was gone. It got me thinking about how different my life would be without him. For example, I wouldn´t have someone to work while my mom takes care of my sisters and I and I wouldn´t have someone to drive me everywhere (my mom doesn't drive). Most importantly, I wouldn´t have a hero that protects me from the evil of the world.

(This song reminds me of my dad. It reminds me of how everything is different compared to when I was a kid. )

The next card will probably be the hardest and most challenging one. My mom once told me that even if you think that your job is done, you should still put effort towards the end. I hope Ed will be able to help the next few people even if it is challenging to accomplish. I also hope that he finally finds out who is sending the cards and making him help all those people. Ed has already helped all the people from the first three cards, will he be able to help the people in the fourth, and last, card?

Making Smart Decisions

After Ed successfully helps the people in the first three addresses, he gets another card. This time it's the ace of clubs and it doesn´t have addresses written on it, but it tells Ed to “say a prayer in the stones of home.” When Ed finally finds the stones of home, he finds three names carved to the rocks and realizes that he must help them just like the last three.  The first person is Thomas O´Reilly who is a priest in a church downtown. Ed helps him bring more people to his church by organizing a party with free beer before the lecture. The second person is Angie Carusso who is a single mother of three and buys ice cream for her kids every Thursday afternoon. Ed then buys her an ice cream the next thursday he sees her. The third person is Gavin Rose, a fourteen year old delinquent who fights his brother almost every day. Ed beats up Gavin and calls his brother to help him get back to the house. This way they stop fighting and help each other instead. Unfortunately, the Rose brothers later beat him up for messing with Gavin.

“Again at 3am I´m on the main street of town, this time scrubbing the paint off the road.

“Why me?” I ask God.

God says nothing.

I laugh and the stars watch.

It's good to be alive.” (165)

I personally liked this quote because it made me reflect  a little about my own life. It made me recall moments that had already been long forgotten, in which I'm thankful for being alive. For example, when my sisters were born (although I was only two years old but I still think that was a great day) or in my first day of school, or when my friends threw a surprise party for me or when I won a scholarship .These moments in my life have had an impact on me in one way or another and without them I wouldn´t be the person I am today. I consider these moments remarkable and memorable since they all make me happy and thankful for my family and friends.

“I realize that nothing belongs to her anymore and she belongs to everything.” (173)

In this quote, Ed is talking about how a single mother he meets at a park belongs to her kids without even realizing it. I thought about this and my mom came into my mind after a while. This quote made me understand how much I love and care for my mom even though we sometimes fight. She is the only one who knows me better than I know myself and she accepts me for just being me. Sometimes people surprise you with simple acts and words, well my mom has been surprising me for more than 13 years now.

I have come to the conclusion that whoever sends the cards to Ed, wants him to do something greater than himself. I mean, it's fine that this person wants to turn Ed into a hero but, why be so secretive about it? Also, I think that he or she should at least give Ed a break because who doesn't need a break sometimes. It didn't take me long to recognize and admire the effort Ed was putting into the happiness of total strangers. You know how sometimes we do good things (that we should do more often) and we get congratulated and praised for it? Yeah, well Ed doesn't get any of that, he barely even gets a thank you (sometimes not even that) from people he´ll never see again. Is that what he wants? Is that what he needs? Is he satisfied? Does he want more?